HOW TO BE PRETTY ON THE OUTSIDE

it's somehow already the second half of august, which means the dog days -- which i find out are actually so named because of the relative brightness of sirius, and finding out about those sorts of things makes me happy because i'm personally ruled by mercury and virgo, though that sign is apparently no longer aligned with its namesake constellation because of procession, a phenomenon i chose not to investigate because i felt it safe to assume it was some kind of drag ball.

late summer. during this time of year in japan the japanese open their letters by asking the addressees if they're keeping it together through the "remaining heat." i supposed for a moment that maybe "lingering" is more appropriate, but, then again, maybe not, because the less pessimistic probably think of the late summer heat as what's left (as in "this is all we have left of it/him/her"), and the written character in question can also be used in describing farewells and mementos. in any case, the heat in portland this past weekend was anything but a remainder, more a reminder that our june and july were only spotted with sun and unmemorably cool. the sustained greyness of the mornings of late had most of the rose city resigned to a sad slide back into fall and winter. but the weekend heat has remained through today and is hopefully going to remain for the month of september, more than long enough to give portland a full (enough) summer and not cause us to sigh (too much) that we're already reading ads and articles on the opening of cyclocross season, which seem to be printed earlier and earlier every year.

yesterday, at the end of a long day of eating (perhaps i should use quotes there because the day was in fact so dubbed from before mara, tim and i met nathan in the morning at sympatica), i took a not especially long ride through the late evening. the sun had dropped, most of the heat had lifted, and a breeze had come to take their place, but the air looked still in the way that causes city lights to shine brighter and more focused and makes details stand out in hyperreal relief. as i rode north on interstate ave from the east end of the steel bridge, i saw the half moon larger and lower over downtown than i'd ever paid attention to it before, and it continued moving with me falling gradually lower along its course until it finally went behind the west hills just at the point where i would have had to look unsafely far back over my shoulder to keep tracking it. nothing so special or significant, really, but the renewed promise of a real summer had me positively sappy. plus, i'd just recommended that mara read snow country earlier that day, and that scene with the moon was not unsimilar to the the image of the eye reflected in the frosted train window in the beginning of the book, the eye that moves steadily with the train across the snow and the lamplight barely visible on the other side of the window. someday i will have a really profound moment that hasn't already been interpreted for me on the page or the screen.

or not. and from the sound of things i likely won't ever completely withdraw from sentimentality, either. but, brother, it's the heat. i swear. the dog days. sirius and the virgin have nothing to do with each other (unless you're REALLY into the details of japanese culture), but late summer does also mean birthdays for portland's many many virgos, and with those (ours) an arbitrary benchmark from which to justify the reflective raison d'etre of this post.

things only ever get different, and sometimes harder, but only to the extent that we're wearily confronting the same issues over and over again in different physical or philosophical environs. so it's nice that we have seasons and cycles, both as reminders and excuses, but they say the weather's just something to talk about so that we don't have to talk about something else. (i hear they're even talking about the heat this year in new york, though.) then again there's always just letting the talking about the weather do the talking for us. pointless style over substance maybe, but if the substance is loth to improve, all the more reason to really get into the style. feeling ugly on the inside? blame the rain or blame the sun, but just talk about the weather. and make sure to wear something nice.