HOW TO GET STARTED WITH ADOBE INDESIGN CS5

you pay adobe some hundreds of dollars. you see, adobe doesn't care that you only have a week left in your online class.

so it happens that, despite your pretensions to responsibility, you turn to the neglected distraction of the pile of books on the file cabinet. confessions of the letter closet has arrived to the apartment in all of its 290 pages and sits atop the pile. (for its recent arrival, reading it won't actually rectify the neglect of the rest, but what helps is helpful.) ironically, you've recently sold your copy of the first volume of foucault's history of sexuality -- the one you bought because it was cheap and forgotten at the seattle public library book sale -- a reading of which would have been indispensable in taking the most from the introduction of the book you're now trying to engage. the book you bought with the store credit you got for the other one was vaguely epistolary, but it had nothing to do with queer desire, so having read it doesn't really inform your understanding of the letter closet. had you not read it, however, you wouldn't have come across that interview with the woman who translated it in which she talks about translation as a layering of subjectivities and the intrinsic nature of the translating act to render contexts relative. you think, at least, that foucault would have liked that.

for all of this thinking, you think that some program somewhere would probably put you on track for an accelerated graduate degree. you and the basis of cultural criticism are already so tight. that's what he said, anyway. earlier. really. and you probably should have asked him to stay, but you thought it would be funnier to have something to write about expounding, loudly, as he left, on the uncertain space between encouragement and patronization. and a discursive conversation is only fun to talk about, not actually to talk. so you hugged and laughed about being over that dead end self-awareness, especially since criticizing it recently got you punched in the mouth.

so much coffee so late in the evening turns out not to have been any boon for productivity, although you might not have drank so fast had your internet connection not been suspiciously in favor of adobe's resistance to your signing up for another indesign trial. you know you're not going to cough up those some hundreds of dollars, but you know that you're thinking about it.

do not TELL me that the connection restarted again. not helpful. really. don't start with me, bitch.