THE FARMERS IN THE DELL

the hood river valley chamber of commerce must train the proprietors of every stop on the fruit loop in a standard welcome spiel. the greeters -- owners, volunteers or something in between -- all ask the same questions, starting with "where are you from?" it was after answering that question at the alpaca farm that we learned from the alpaca farmer that, among the states where alpacas are raised, ohio leads the country in number of alpaca farms and also in number of alpacas raised and that china has of late been buying south america out of all of its alpacas in attempts to surpass the united states in worldwide market share.

the alpaca farm that services foothills yarn and fiber isn't far from odell, the small community in the hood river valley between highways 35 and 281. following the fruit loop map that we found in the not primarily resale bookstore in hood river, we passed through that community on our way from the hood river lavender farms to where we met the alpacas, and on our way back, the charm of the local high school convinced us to turn down the main drag of the town on our way back toward the columbia river and highway 84.

if you're looking for authentic mexican food, odell is an incredible, if unlikely, foodie dream. the michoacan sports bar and grill is right there on the odell highway, but for those not simply wooed by its contemporary industrial design and neon signage there's the taqueria los amigos, where there's not just a full menu of reasonably priced and traditionally prepared mexican (american) favorites but also a quarter machine full of authentic-y temporary tattoos. if you're lucky you'll get the "smile now cry later" styled virgin of guadalupe. you couldn't not lean like a chola with that on your neck. there are also three television screens, all of them showing the same mexican news program, a program hosted by a tall, faintly brown anchor who must have used the same plastic surgeon as michael jackson. we watched her deliver the news until our tortas arrived, at which point we realized that there was a food cart across the road (a cart! in the hood river valley!), a cart called the snack shack, which was next to "espresso your love," central odell's only apparent public wifi hotspot. our tortas, cubano and jamon, were delicious. the fresh guacamole and specially curated salsa tray were worth the wait, even if we were the only customers at los amigos at two-thirty on that friday afternoon. (we also acknowledged that the three ladies we found sitting by the register when we went in probably had no idea how to treat our completely unexpected arrival.)

"is it racist of me to wonder why there are so many mexicans up in the hills of this part of oregon?"

"um, you haven't lived on the west coast, but no. that's just observation."

after lunch, and just north of los amigos on odell highway, we spotted what looked to be an abandoned warehouse complex on the left side of the roadway.

"ooh. old abandoned buildings. i'm turning."

"i don't think they're abandoned. it's just not fruit season." (the hood river valley might get more sun than portland, but the sun's general elusiveness has been a statewide phenomenon this year.) "besides, they probably find a way to use the buildings the rest of the year. you shouldn't get too close. there are cars parked. they're probably having illegal cock fights in there."

"now that's racist."

"you're right. it could be dogs."

"now that's love."

bon appetit.