HOW TO SECEDE IN PORTLAND WITHOUT REALLY TRYING

seen from above (which of course is speaking figuratively, because no one really looks down on us), 'looking good in pants' could easily be seen as having questionably patriotic political leanings. we'll make no direct comment and let the opinions draw themselves, but the question of secession always looms large for any citizen of cascadia, and with the democrats in the senate geared up to attack the procedural rules for the filibuster, national political discourse has again come to question senatorial power as it's written into the u.s. constituion, which comes with it always the fringe proposition that if each state is necessarily to have two delegates to the senate then shouldn't we think of redrawing state boundaries to ensure that the senate is more closely representative of populations and a legitimate majority rule. after all, the largest state by population now dwarfs the smallest by a factor of seventy, whereas that factor was only of twelve when the constitution was written.

to be true, however, to the spirit of a bicameral legislature that was incepted to guarantee the strong representation and legislative power of each state based on the exigencies of its native culture and resources, regardless of whether the demands of its situation might put it in a national minority, any new state borders would have to be drawn so as to preserve current regional identities and the needs of local economies. the maps look pretty funny when you try to draw them, and it's horror to imagine the problems -- both administrative and cultural -- that would probably arise from the subsuming of states with smaller populations into others, even if breaking up the larger states might seem to solve the same problems at the other side of the spectrum. so why no just avoid all the infighting? it's time to secede.

the pacific northwest has always had a solid sense of itself, and a sense of itself being different. endless rain and evergreen forests, which have traditionally meant logging and a mystical frontier spirit, are enough in themselves to assign the northwest a unique geographical identity, and as a recent editorial in the willamette week points out, the idea of the northwest as a distinct and foreign political entity is as old as thomas jefferson, who in 1803, "envisioned the pacific northwest as a 'great, free and independent empire.'" today, that oregon, washington and british columbia should unite and insulate, "to preserve and localize use of natural and industrial resources, from timber and fish to software and biotechnology," shouldn't be an idea too far from the casual mindset of any of those territories' residents. (add to that indie rock, bicycles, coffee and craft beer and you'll have won the allegiance of the entire population.)

but, that the basic will to secede is an all but given for every cascadian (most of us have done it in spirit already) doesn't preclude certain administrative complications for our new state. for example: where's the capital? oregon had enough of its own problems trying to seat its government with its founders establishing oregon city to get the government out of the commercial center at portland, which wasn't the oldest settlement, that was in astoria, but ultimately deciding to put the governor and the assembly in the middle of nothing at salem. as far as cascadia goes, vacnouver is sure to demure. canadians are nice, and there's just too much money there. victoria, while picaresque, stinks too much of the queen. seattle? i'll leave that case for a native to argue. seattle based writer claire dederer had this to say in a recent guest blog for powells.com:

Good morning, Portland! Up here in Seattle, we... well, we hate you. We hate you for being cooler than us, and for having better restaurants. We hate you because, while we were getting all overexcited during the tech boom and building terrible, terrible buildings, you were passing ordinances that basically turned your city into Sweden. Convenient transit. Nice-looking young folk in dun-colored clothing.

i've said it better myself, but i won't send you trolling the archives. plus, we don't want to indicate bias where bias isn't due. (ms. dederer wrote a book on yoga, which will undoubtedly be the law of cascadia -- a law that i'll uncivilly disobey.) let's just agree on the obvious and save our righteousness for better picked fights...like olympic hockey. cascadia is going to rule. look. out. sweden.