ABOUT LAST NIGHT, part 2

postcards. people are sure to appreciate them more from kyoto than in tokyo, or so i've decided, so i've decided to send them from here. but instead of finding some nice ones and sitting down to write them this evening as was my plan when i woke up this afternoon, i put on a nice outfit and went to one of the fancier department stores downtown so that the salespeople on men's designer could be nice to me. walking there i couldn't tell if it was my back hurting from so much walking or my kidneys from dehydration.

japanese homo culture is probably the way it is so that the japanese can avoid the overblown dramatics of the likes of me. but looking good in pants means saying it straight and as it comes. we sometimes get worked up, but, when we finally work ourselves down, we aren't beyond recognizing that perhaps a selfish response to not getting what we wanted can overtake our necessary respect for the nuances of cultural difference. the braggadocio of near perfection blinded me to the possibility of my still being susceptible to cultural shock. so once again: ctrl identity + alt + delete adolescence. the truth is, i had fun. not sorry.

my walk took me near chion-in temple, and i remembered from my visit yesterday that the temple is open special evening hours this month for a seasonal illumination. fall in japan means colored leaves and moon gazing parties. i climbed the hill again, paid my fee and made a second round.

the main hall of the temple was dimly lit from around the altar. a recorded track of monks chanting sutras played in the background. those of you who were raised catholic will understand when i say that once you've lapsed, you develop a profoundly unique relationship with god. despite your firmness in your disbelief, he's always still there to talk, an ex who still loves you and will do whatever he can to help you stop making the same mistakes as when you were together. i'm no buddhist, but in the dim light and amidst the incense and chanting, i had a nice sit down with amida. not believing in the law made it all the easier to come clean. i'd have stayed there all night had they let me.