HOW TO CONDUCT AN ARTISTIC CORRESPONDENCE FOR THE LATER STIMULATION OF BACKLIST SALES; or, ON THE DANGERS OF PARASOMNIAS

dear poop lady:

it only took seeing your piece of mail on the entryway table to rush to a response. of course it was yours, because of the color. not that they're always the same color, but they're colored. this one is green. and all the better for it having been on top of a red one, not even in my pile, found, because of the color and the way you type my name, after the quick but petulant disappointment of seeing nothing in the box. your letter in another person's pile. "then at last the power of the mind to quit the body is manifest, and perhaps we fear or hate or wish annihilated this phantom of ourselves." but there's a third set of feet in that kiddie pool you drew, and perhaps... no need to prise an invitation if you've sent the drawing, probably, is what you're trying to say? not to sound too mawkish (which i love sounds like maudlin and means the same thing so reassures me about why it's called double u, and i know you appreciate that). a whiskey sour doesn't sound bad either, although july has been more sober than not and that's not entirely because of the sickness, although i have been sick and that's why i missed all three of your shows which must have made you wonder i'd hope, and i hope that you understand because you sent that mail. i haven't read it.

but of course i'll marry you.

love,

christopher